Their voices gnaw
at me from the corner.
I give in to the dirty thrill –
eavesdrop on their English.
Two young girls gushing with potential,
adventures and life goals.
I also tossed about those delicious
moments of indecision
at my first view of the world:
to travel, to work or attend college.
All the world my playground
until reality threw the dice
left me scrambling.
Their youth crackles against my skin,
constant chatter, vigour.
I want to savour standing still,
focus once again on myself,
if only for this stolen hour
crammed between meeting and school run.
Ignore the wave of guilt
for longing to be more.
I overfill this small pocket of time,
step outside to a birch fire,
swirling snow and reindeer hides.
White bark curls, sings and hisses.
Shivering, I never saw Finland coming.